Today was a very sunny, very hot day at the end of what has been a very rainy, very cold April. Tanja rose early and made her way to the NorthWestern precinct where she engaged with her Physical Therapist who put her through all sorts of paces. There were obstacles to step over and semi-deflated beach balls to step upon and any number of contrivances meant to test her ability to balance and adapt.

She did exceptionally well today, which does not surprise me as I know her ability to balance and adapt to be pretty much unequalled. I believe that is the secret to our success as a couple:)

It is a documented fact that Tanja spent a summer working on Cape Cod. We have, on occasion, joked about, or wondered about, or even maybe yearned for, an alternate universe where we met back then, because of course, until I moved to Portland, I spend all my summers on Cape Cod.

Well, all but one. In ’87 I spent six months hiking from Georgia to Maine. Tanja picked that time to go down from Providence to Provincetown. It was a wonderful time for her and she quite loved the Cape and never once noticed that something was missing from the mix.

Meanwhile, I was missing her terribly. I could not have named her but I knew there was something, somewhere.

But if I am perfectly honest and less romantic, I think it’s safe to say that, if I had somehow met Tanja in ’87, I would not have handled it well. It took me a long time to grow up, where “growing up” equals understanding that what you feel is actually a perfectly valid lens for viewing the world and making decisions–maybe the only valid lens. I can’t get into it right now, this is a blog about Tanja’s recovery, let’s not lose focus–I’ll just say that the difference between what you say and how you feel is a thing called dishonesty, no matter what complexities and contingencies and constructs may pertain, and my dishonesty led to lots of trouble for people who undoubtedly deserved better. And when all is said and done, I feel lucky to be here now with Tanja.

Anyhoo, I know I was working up to something, but what else is there to say? Her strength is improving. Her range of motion is improving. It seems like her electrical system is still all over the map. But her mood is improving. She made me laugh today, on purpose. And I feel lucky to be here now with her.

Collar Countdown is at 26. And this seems like a good night to share with you one of my absolute favorite artists ever but, after a long exploration of the dark web, I find I can only manage to give you the first three minutes of a three minute and forty eight second song. So be it:

If you have apple music, I think you can hear the whole thing here: https://music.apple.com/us/album/where-have-you-been/63607408?i=63607374